The Key of Being a Real Man

Chintan Norbert Bila, my co-teacher in Tantra, says, “The patriarchal foundation of our society for the last few thousand years has given rise to male supremacy. However, with the recent rise in women’s liberation man is now in mutation, and even in the process of losing his sense of identity.

Men get into stress, trying to juggle power and vulnerability. His contradictory nature has a tendency to nurture frustration and destructiveness. He reaches a point of no return, where he needs a catharsis as an outlet for the steam of his internal pressure cooker.

This masculine tendency is what gives rise to war, power politics, highly competitive forms of business, or competitive sports. Luckily, nature offers a rainbow bridge between his contradictory qualities.

The bridge of transformation for men is a sense of humour and playfulness, leading to detachment and relaxation. These qualities engulf and transcend the social and rational games of society.

In the Indian tradition, this playful approach to life is called Leela, the ‘divine play’ or ‘God’s play’. Testosterone needs to be expressed, but it can have other outlets besides conflictual competition. If a man orientates himself around the worldview of a society based on conqueror and conquered then he will live within the law of the jungle, the struggle for the survival of the fittest in a competitive environment.

If he integrates a vision of himself and the world which is larger and more fluid, the possibility for expression becomes multidimensional. He can be a clown, a lover, a practitioner of martial arts, an artist, a child, a king, and a sage all at once. The multifaceted aspects of his nature can come together in a spiral dance, making him vast enough to contain all the contradictions of life.

In Tantra, women function as the initiatress of the man. He surrenders himself before the power and grace of the maternal feminine. He lets go of his ego which was built around a jungle based mentality. This permits him to be reborn with the joyful innocence of his inner child intact.

He discovers renewal of life with a strength which bubbles up naturally, without effort. This time, he is deeper and more authentic. His heart shines forth, his consciousness is vaster, his eyes are open to both seen and unseen worlds, and his creative masculine role is radiantly apparent.”

Ma Ananda Sarita