Mother

Osho on Birth of a Mother

Question: When I gave birth to my first child, I felt I was also born In a way. Can you talk about the birth of a mother?

Osho : Whenever a child is born, not only is the child born -- that is one part of it -- the mother is also born. Before that she was an ordinary woman; through the birth she becomes a mother. On one side the child is born, on the other side the mother is born. And a mother is totally different from a woman: a gap exists, her whole existence becomes qualitatively different. Before that she may have been a wife, a beloved, but suddenly that is no longer so important. A child is born, a new life has entered: she becomes a mother.

That's why husbands are always afraid of children. Basically they never like children because a third party enters into the relationship -- not only enters, but the third party becomes the center. And after that the woman is never the same wife, she is different. After that, if a husband really wants love he has to become just like a son, because this woman who has become a mother can never be an ordinary wife again. She has become a mother, you cannot do anything about it now. The only thing left is that you become a son to her. 

That is the only way you can get her love again, otherwise the love will be moving towards her son. When a woman becomes a mother, something tremendously meaningful has happened to her. For a woman it is almost a new birth. It is something which is very difficult for a man to understand unless he is creative . If he has given birth to a poem, he feels tremendously happy. Nobody can understand what has happened just by composing a poem. But its not just a poem. Much was in turmoil in him, and the poem has settled many things.

But it is nothing compared to a woman when she becomes a mother -- nothing. A poem is a poem. The moment it is born it is already dead. When it is inside the poet it has life. The moment it is expressed it is a dead piece of furniture. You can hang it on the wall. You can throw it on the rubbish heap, or whatsoever you want, but it is no more alive. When a woman gives birth to a child, it is life. When she looks into the eyes of the child, she looks into her own being. When the child starts growing, she grows with the child.