Osho on Trusting oneself and stop doing Imitation
Osho : It is better to be ignorant; at least the
ignorance is yours. It is authentic, it is real, sincere and honest! Don’t go on
with borrowed knowledge. Otherwise you will forget that you are ignorant, and
you will remain ignorant.
This sutra says ”... MOTHER PARTICULAR
KNOWINGS.” Always try to know something in a way that is fresh, direct,
immediate. Don’t believe in anyone. Your belief will lead you astray. Trust
yourself – and if you cannot trust yourself, how can you trust anybody
else?
Sariputta came to Buddha, and he said, ”I have come to believe in
you. I have come! Help me to build faith in you.”
Buddha is reported to
have said, ”If you don’t believe in yourself, how can you believe in me? So
forget me. First have trust in yourself, believe in yourself. Only then can you
have trust in someone else.”
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So remember
this: you cannot trust anybody if you cannot even trust yourself. The first
trust is always within. Only then can it flow; only then can it overflow,
it can reach to others. But how can you trust if you don’t know
anything?
How can you trust in yourself if you don’t have any experience?
Try to trust in yourself. Don’t think that this experience of looking through
others’ eyes is only with the absolute. It is with ordinary experiences also.
But let them be your own. They will help you to grow, they will make you mature,
they will make you ripened.
This is really strange: you look with others’
eyes, you live with others’ lives. You call a rose beautiful. Really, is it your
feeling or just a teaching that is spread around you that a rose is beautiful?
Is this your knowing? Have you known it? You say that moonlight is good,
beautiful. Is it your knowing, or is it just that poets have been singing about
it and you are repeating it? If you are like a parrot, you cannot live your life
authentically.
Whenever you assert anything and whenever you say
anything, first check within whether it is your knowledge and your experience.
Throw out all that is not yours – it is of no use – and cherish and mother all
that is yours, because only through that will you grow. ”MOTHER PARTICULAR
KNOWINGS, PARTICULAR DOINGS, IN REALITY.”
Always remember ”in reality.” Do something. Have you done
anything ever, or have you been just following
others, just following orders? ”Love your wife”: have you really loved
her? Or are you just doing a duty because it has been said, because it has been
taught, ”Love your wife – or love your mother, love your father, love your
brother,” so you are loving and you are following!
Have YOU really loved
any time when you were there? Was it ever the case that no teaching was working
and no other was being followed? Were you ever authentically in love? You can
deceive yourself; you can say, ”Yes!” But find out before you say anything. If
you have loved, you would be transformed; the particular act of love would have
changed you. But it has not changed you because your love is false.
And
the whole life has become false. You go on doing things that are not your own.
Do your own thing and mother it. Buddha is good, but you cannot follow him.
Jesus is good, beautiful, but you cannot follow him. And if you will follow, you
will become ugly. You will be a carbon copy. You will be false, and you will not
be accepted by the existence. Nothing false is accepted.
Love a Buddha, love a Jesus, but don’t be their carbon
copies. Don’t imitate. Always allow your own self to
move in its own way. You will become Buddha-like one day, but the path
will be basically your own. One day you will become a Jesus, but you will have
traveled along a different route, you will have experienced different
things.
One thing is certain: whatsoever may be the route and whatsoever
may be the experience, it must be authentic, real, and your own. Then you will
reach one day. Through falsity you cannot reach the truth; falsity will lead to
more falsity.
Do something, remembering well that it is you who are doing
it without following anybody. Then even a very small act, just a smile, may
become a source of SATORI, a source of SAMADHI, cosmic consciousness. You come
back to your home and smile at your children.
That smile is false; you
are pretending. You are smiling because a smile is expected. It is a painted
smile. Nothing else is smiling in you but the lips. They are manipulated; the
smile is mechanical. And you can become so habituated in this that you may
completely forget how to smile. You may laugh, but the laughter may not be
coming from your center.
Always remember, no
matter what you are doing, observe whether your center is involved in it
or not, because if it is not involved it is
better not to do a thing. Don’t do it! No one is forcing you to do anything.
Don’t do it! Preserve your energy for the moment when something real happens to
you; then do it. Don’t smile, preserve the energy.
The smile will come,
and then it will change you completely. Then it will be total. Then every cell
of your body will smile. Then it will be an explosion – nothing painted.
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