Unconscious identification with pain

Do you experience frequent and repetitive drama in your close relationships. Do relatively insignificant disagreements often trigger violent arguments and emotional pain. At the root of it lie the basic egoic patterns: the need to be right, and, of course, for someone else to be wrong, that is to say identification with mental positions. There is also the ego's need to be periodically in conflict with something or someone in order to strengthen its sense of separation between me and the other, without which it cannot survive. In addition, there is the accumulated emotional pain from the past that you and each human being carries within, both from your personal past as well as the collective pain of humanity that goes back a long, long time. This pain body is an energy field within you that sporadically takes you over because it needs to experience more emotional pain for itself to feed on and replenish itself. It will try to control your thinking and make it deeply negative. It loves your negative thoughts since it resonates with every frequency and so can feed on them. It will also provoke negative emotional reactions in people close toyou, especially your partner, in order to feed on the ensuing drama and emotional pain. How can you free yourself from this unconscious identification with pain that creates so much misery in life. Become aware of it. Realize that it is not who you are and recognize it for what it is, past pain. Witness it as it happens in your partner or in yourself. When your unconscious identification with it is broken, when you are able to observe it in yourself, you don't feed it anymore and it will gradually lose its energy charge. 

Eckhart Tolle