Question: What is Meditation?
Osho: Meditation is not an Indian method;
it is not simply a technique. You cannot learn it. It is a growth: a growth of
your total living, out of your total living. Meditation is not something that
can be added to you as you are. It can come to you only through a basic
transformation, a mutation. It is a flowering, a growth. Growth is always out of
the total; it is not an addition. You must grow toward meditation. This total
flowering of the personality must be understood correctly.
Otherwise one can play
games with oneself, one can occupy oneself with mental tricks. And there are so
many tricks! Not only can you be fooled by them, not only will you not gain
anything, but in a real sense you will be harmed. The very attitude that there
is some trick to meditation – to conceive of meditation in terms of method – is
basically wrong. And when one begins to play with mental tricks, the very
quality of the mind begins to deteriorate.
As mind exists, it is
not meditative. The total mind must change before meditation can happen. Then
what is the mind as it now exists? How does it function? The mind is always
verbalizing. You can know words, you can know language, you can know the
conceptual structure of thinking, but that is not thinking. On the contrary, it
is an escape from thinking. You see a flower and you verbalize it; you see a man
crossing the street and you verbalize it. The mind can transform every
existential thing into words.
Then the words become a
barrier, an imprisonment. This constant transformation of things into words, of
existence into words, is the obstacle to a meditative mind. So the first
requirement toward a meditative mind is to be aware of your constant verbalizing
and to be able to stop it. Just see things; do not verbalize. Be aware of their
presence, but do not change them into words. Let things be, without language;
let persons be, without language; let situations be, without language.
It is not impossible;
it is natural. It is the situation as it now exists that is artificial, but we
have become so habituated to it, it has become so mechanical, that we are not
even aware that we are constantly transforming experience into words. The
sunrise is there. You are never aware of the gap between seeing it and
verbalizing. You see the sun, you feel it, and immediately you verbalize it. The
gap between seeing and verbalizing is lost. One must become aware of the fact
that the sunrise is not a word. It is a fact, a presence. The mind automatically
changes experiences into words. These words then come between you and the
experience.
Meditation means living without words, living
nonlinguistically. Sometimes it happens spontaneously. When you
are in love, presence is felt, not language. Whenever two lovers are intimate
with one another they become silent. It is not that there is nothing to express.
On the contrary, there is an overwhelming amount to be expressed. But words are
never there; they cannot be. They come only when love has gone. If two lovers
are never silent, it is an indication that love has died. Now they are filling
the gap with words.
When love is alive,
words are not there because the very existence of love is so overwhelming, so
penetrating, that the barrier of language and words is crossed. And ordinarily,
it is only crossed in love. Meditation is the culmination of love: love not for
a single person, but for the total existence. To me, meditation is a living
relationship with the total existence that surrounds you. If you can be in love
with any situation, then you are in meditation. And this is not a mental trick.
It is not a method of stilling the mind.
Rather, it requires a
deep understanding of the mechanism of the mind. The moment you understand your
mechanical habit of verbalization, of changing existence into words, a gap is
created. It comes spontaneously. It follows understanding like a shadow. The
real problem is not how to be in meditation, but to know why you are not in
meditation. The very process of meditation is negative. It is not adding
something to you; it is negating something that has already been added. Society
cannot exist without language; it needs language.
But existence does not
need it. I am not saying that you should exist without language. You will have
to use it. But you must be able to turn the mechanism of verbalization on and
off. When you are existing as a social being, the mechanism of language is
needed; but when you are alone with existence, you must be able to turn it off.
If you can’t turn it off – if it goes on and on, and you are incapable of
stopping it – then you have become a slave to it. Mind must be an instrument,
not the master.
When mind is the
master, a non-meditative state exists. When you are the master, your
consciousness is the master, a meditative state exists. So meditation means
becoming a master of the mechanism of the mind. Mind, and the linguistic
functioning of the mind, is not the ultimate. You are beyond it; existence is
beyond it. Consciousness is beyond linguistics; existence is beyond linguistics.
When consciousness and existence are one, they are in communion. This communion
is meditation.
Language must be
dropped. I don’t mean that you have to suppress it or eliminate it. I only mean
that it does not have to be a twenty-four-hour-a-day habit for you. When you
walk, you need to move your legs. But if they go on moving when you are sitting,
then you are mad. You must be able to turn them off. In the same way, when you
are not talking with anyone, language must not be there. It is a technique to
communicate. When you are not communicating with anybody it should not be
there.
If you are able to do
this, you can grow into meditation. Meditation is a growing process, not a
technique. A technique is always dead, so it can be added to you, but a process
is always alive. It grows, it expands. Language is needed, but you must not
always remain in it. There must be moments when there is no verbalizing, when
you just exist. It is not that you are just vegetating. Consciousness is there.
And it is more acute, more alive, because language dulls it. Language is bound
to be repetitive so it creates boredom. The more important language is to you,
the more bored you will be.
Existence is never repetitive. Every rose is a new rose,
altogether new. It has never been and it will never be again. But when we call
it a rose, the word ‘rose’ is a repetition. It has always been there; it will
always be there. You have killed the new with an old word. Existence is always
young, and language is always old. Through language, you escape existence, you
escape life, because language is dead. The more involved you are with language,
the more deadened you will be by it. A pundit is completely dead because he is
nothing but language, words.
Sartre has called his
autobiography ’Words’. We live in words. That is, we don’t live. In the end
there is only a series of accumulated words and nothing else. Words are like
photographs. You see something that is alive and you take a picture of it. The
picture is dead. Then you make an album of dead pictures. A person who has not
lived in meditation is like a dead album. Only verbal pictures are there, only
memories. Nothing has been lived; everything has just been
verbalized.
Meditation means living
totally, but you can live totally only when you are silent. By being silent I do
not mean unconscious. You can be silent and unconscious but it is not a living
silence. Again, you have missed. Through mantras you can autohypnotize yourself.
By simply repeating a word you can create so much boredom in the mind that the
mind will go to sleep. You drop into sleep, drop into the unconscious. If you go
on chanting ”Ram Ram Ram” the mind will fall asleep. Then the barrier of
language is not there, but you are unconscious.
Meditation means that
language must not be there, but you must be conscious. Otherwise there is no
communion with existence, with all that is. No mantra can help, no chanting can
help. Autohypnosis is not meditation. On the contrary, to be in an autohypnotic
state is a regression. It is not going beyond language; it is falling below it.
So drop all mantras, drop all these techniques. Allow moments to exist where
words are not there. You cannot get rid of words with a mantra because the very
process uses words. You cannot eliminate language with words; it is
impossible.
So
what is to be done? In fact, you cannot do anything at all except
to understand. Whatever you are able to do can only come from where you are. You
are confused, you are not in meditation, your mind is not silent, so anything
that comes out of you will only create more confusion. All that can be done
right now is to begin to be aware of how the mind functions. That’s all – just
be aware.
Awareness has nothing
to do with words. It is an existential act, not a mental act. So the first thing
is to be aware. Be aware of your mental processes, how your mind works. The
moment you become aware of the functioning of your mind, you are not the mind.
The very awareness means that you are beyond: aloof, a witness. And the more
aware you become, the more you will be able to see the gaps between the
experience and the words. Gaps are there, but you are so unaware that they are
never seen.
Between two words there
is always a gap, however imperceptible, however small. Otherwise the two
words cannot remain two; they will become one. Between two notes of music there
is always a gap, a silence. Two words or two notes cannot be two unless there is
an interval between them. A silence is always there but one has to be really
aware, really attentive, to feel it. The more aware you become, the slower the
mind becomes. It is always relative. The less aware you are, the faster the mind
is; the more aware you are, the slower the process of the mind is. When you are
more aware of the mind, the mind slows down and the gaps between thoughts widen.
Then you can see them.
It is just like a film.
When a projector is run in slow motion, you see the gaps. If I raise my hand,
this has to be shot in a thousand parts. Each part will be a single photograph.
If these thousands of single photographs pass before your eyes so fast that you
cannot see the gaps, then you see the hand raised as a process. But in slow
motion, the gaps can be seen.
Mind is just like a film. Gaps are there. The more
attentive you are to your mind, the more you will see them. It is just like a
gestalt picture: a picture that contains two distinct images at the same time.
One image can be seen or the other can be seen, but you cannot see both
simultaneously. It can be a picture of an old lady, and at the same time a
picture of a young lady. But if you are focused on one, you will not see the
other; and when you are focused on the other, the first is lost. Even if you
know perfectly well that you have seen both images, you cannot see them
simultaneously.
The same thing happens
with the mind. If you see the words you cannot see the gaps, and if you see the
gaps you cannot see the words. Every word is followed by a gap and every gap is
followed by a word, but you cannot see both simultaneously. If you are focused
on the gaps, words will be lost and you will be thrown into
meditation.
A consciousness that is
focused only on words is non-meditative and a consciousness that is focused only
on gaps is meditative. Whenever you become aware of the gaps, the words will be
lost. If you observe carefully, you will not find words; you will only find a
gap. You can feel the difference between two words, but you cannot feel the
difference between two gaps.
Words are always plural
and the gap is always singular: ”the” gap. They merge and become one. Meditation
is a focusing on the gap. Then, the whole gestalt changes. Another thing is to
be understood. If you are looking at the gestalt picture and your concentration
is focused on the old lady, you cannot see the other picture. But if you
continue to concentrate on the old lady – if you go on focusing on her, if you
become totally attentive to her – a moment will come when the focus changes and
suddenly the old lady has disappeared and the other picture is there.
Why does this happen?
It happens because the mind cannot be focused continuously for a long time. It
has to change or it will go to sleep. These are the only two possibilities. If
you go on concentrating on one thing, the mind will fall asleep. It cannot
remain fixed; it is a living process. If you let it become bored it will go to
sleep in order to escape from the stagnancy of your focus. Then it can continue
living, in dreams. This is meditation Maharishi Mahesh Yogi style. It’s
peaceful, refreshing, it can help your physical health and mental equilibrium,
but it is not meditation. The same thing can be done by autohypnosis.
The Indian word
‘mantra’ means suggestion, nothing else. To take this as meditation is a serious
mistake. It is not. And if you think of it as meditation, you will never search
for authentic meditation. That is the real harm that is done by such practices
and propagandists of such practices. It is just drugging yourself
psychologically.
So don’t use any mantra
to push words out of the way. Just become aware of the words and the focus of
your mind will change automatically to the gaps. If you identify with words, you
will go on jumping from one word to another and you will miss the gap. Another
word is something new to focus on. The mind goes on changing; the focus changes.
But if you are not identified with words, if you are just a witness – aloof,
just watching the words as they go by in a procession – then the whole focus
will change and you will become aware of the gap.
It is just as if you
are on the street, watching people as they pass by. One person has passed and
another has not yet come. There is a gap; the street is vacant. If you are
watching, then you will know the gap. And once you know the gap, you are in it;
you have jumped into it. It is an abyss – so peace-giving, so
consciousness-creating. It is meditation to be in the gap; it is transformation.
Now language is not needed; you will drop it. It is a conscious dropping. You
are conscious of the silence, the infinite silence. You are part of it, one with
it. You are not conscious of the abyss as the other; you are conscious of the
abyss as yourself. You know, but now you are the knowing. You observe the gap,
but now the observer is the observed.
As far as words and
thoughts are concerned, you are a witness, separate, and words are the
other. But when there are no words, you
are the gap – yet still conscious that you are. Between you and the gap, between
consciousness and existence, there is no barrier now. Only words are the
barrier. Now you are in an existential situation. This is meditation: to be one
with existence, to be totally in it and still conscious. This is the
contradiction, this is the paradox. Now you have known a situation in which you
were conscious, and yet one with it. Ordinarily, when we are conscious of
anything, the thing becomes the other. If we are identified with something, then
it is not the other, but then we are not conscious – as in anger, in sex. We
become one only when we are unconscious.
Sex has so much appeal
because in sex you become one for a moment. But in that moment, you are
unconscious. You seek the unconsciousness because you seek the oneness. But the
more you seek it, the more conscious you become. Then you will not feel the
bliss of sex, because the bliss was coming from the unconsciousness.
You could become
unconscious in a moment of passion. Your consciousness dropped. For a single
moment you were in the abyss – but unconscious. But the more you seek it, the
more it is lost. Finally a moment comes when you are in sex and the moment of
unconsciousness no longer happens. The abyss is lost, the bliss is lost. Then
the act becomes stupid. It is just a mechanical release; there is nothing
spiritual about it.
We have known only
unconscious oneness; we have never known conscious oneness. Meditation is
conscious oneness. It is the other pole of sexuality. Sex is one pole,
unconscious oneness; meditation is the other pole, conscious oneness. Sex is the
lowest point of oneness and meditation is the peak, the highest peak of oneness.
The difference is a difference of consciousness. The Western mind is thinking
about meditation now because the appeal of sex has been lost.
Whenever a society
becomes non suppressive sexually, meditation will follow, because uninhibited
sex will kill the charm and romance of sex; it will kill the spiritual side of
it. Much sex is there, but you cannot continue to be unconscious in it. A
sexually suppressed society can remain sexual, but a nonsuppressive, uninhibited
society cannot remain with sexuality forever. It will have to be transcended. So
if a society is sexual, meditation will follow. To me, a sexually free society
is the first step toward seeking, searching.
But of course, because
the search is there, it can be exploited. It is being exploited by the East.
Gurus can be supplied; they can be exported. And they are being exported. But
only tricks can be learned through these gurus. Understanding comes through
life, through living. It cannot be given, transferred.
I cannot give you my
understanding. I can talk about it, but I cannot give it to you. You will have
to find it. You will have to go into life. You will have to err; you will have
to fail; you will have to pass through many frustrations. But only through
failures, errors, frustrations, only through the encounter of real living, will
you come to meditation. That is why I say it is a growth. Something can be
understood, but understanding that comes through another can never be more than
intellectual.
That is why
Krishnamurti demands the impossible. He says, ”Do not understand me
intellectually” – but nothing except intellectual understanding can come from
someone else. That is why Krishnamurti’s effort has been absurd. What he is
saying is authentic, but when he demands more than intellectual understanding
from the listener, it is impossible. Nothing more can come from someone else,
nothing more can be delivered.
But intellectual
understanding can be enough. If you can understand what I am saying
intellectually, you can also understand what has not been said. You can also
understand the gaps: what I am not saying, what I cannot say. The first
understanding is bound to be intellectual, because the intellect is the door. It
can never be spiritual. Spirituality is the inner shrine. I can only communicate
to you intellectually. If you can really understand it, then what has not been
said can be felt. I cannot communicate without words, but when I am using words
I am also using silences. You will have to be aware of both. If only words are
being understood then it is a communication; but if you can be aware of the gaps
also, then it is a communion.
One has to begin
somewhere. Every beginning is bound to be a false beginning, but one has to
begin. Through the false, through the groping, the door is found. One who thinks
that he will begin only when the right beginning is there will never begin at
all. Even a false step is a step in the right direction because it is a step, a
beginning. You begin to grope in the dark and, through groping, the door is
found.
That is why I said to be aware of the linguistic process –
the process of words – and to seek an awareness of the gaps, the
intervals. There will be moments when there will be no conscious effort on your
part and you will become aware of the gaps. That is the encounter with the
divine, the encounter with the existential. Whenever there is an encounter, do
not escape from it. Be with it. It will be fearful at first; it is bound to be.
Whenever the unknown is encountered, fear is created because to us the unknown
is death. So whenever there is a gap, you will feel death coming to
you.
Then be dead! Just be
in it, and die completely in the gap. And you will be resurrected. By dying your
death in silence, life is resurrected. You are alive for the first time, really
alive. So to me, meditation is not a method but a process; meditation is not a
technique but an understanding. It cannot be taught; it can only be indicated.
You cannot be informed about it because no information is really information. It
is from the outside, and meditation comes from your own inner depths.
So search, be a seeker,
and do not be a disciple. Then you will not be a disciple of some guru, but a
disciple of the total life. Then you will not just be learning words. Spiritual
learning cannot come from words but from the gaps, the silences that are always
surrounding you. They are there even in the crowd, in the market, in the bazaar.
Seek the silences, seek the gaps within and without, and one day you will find
that you are in meditation.
Meditation comes to
you. It always comes; you cannot bring it. But one has to be in search of it,
because only when you are in search will you be open to it, vulnerable to it.
You are a host to it. Meditation is a guest. You can invite it and wait for it.
It comes to Buddha, it comes to Jesus, it comes to everybody who is ready, who
is open and seeking.
But do not learn it
from somewhere; otherwise you will be tricked. The mind is always searching for
something easier. This becomes the source for exploitation. Then there are gurus
and gurudoms, and spiritual life is poisoned. The most dangerous person is the
one who exploits someone’s spiritual urge. If someone robs you of your wealth it
is not so serious, if someone fails you it is not so serious, but if someone
tricks you and kills, or even postpones, your urge toward meditation, toward the
divine, toward ecstasy, then the sin is great and unforgivable.
But that is being done.
So be aware of it, and don’t ask anybody, ”What is meditation? How do I
meditate?” Instead, ask what the hindrances are, what the obstacles are. Ask why
we aren’t always in meditation, where the growth has been stopped, where we have
been crippled. And do not seek a guru because gurus are crippling. Anyone who
gives you ready-made formulas is not a friend but an enemy.
Grope in the dark.
Nothing else can be done. The very groping will become the understanding
that will liberate you from darkness. Jesus said: ”Truth is freedom.” Understand
this freedom. Truth is always through understanding. It is not something that
you meet and encounter; it is something you grow into. So be in search of
understanding, because the more understanding you become, the nearer you will be
to truth. And in some unknown, expected, unpredictable moment, when
understanding comes to a peak, you are in the abyss. You are no more, and
meditation is.
When you are no more,
you are in meditation. Meditation is not more of you; it is always beyond you.
When you are in the abyss, meditation is there. Then the ego is not; then you
are not. Then the being is. That is what religions mean by God: the ultimate
being. It is the essence of all religions, all searches, but it is not to be
found anywhere ready-made. So be aware of anyone who makes claims about it. Go
on groping and don’t be afraid of failure. Admit failures, but do not commit the
same failures again.
Once is all; that is
enough. The person who goes on erring in the search for truth is always
forgiven. It is a promise from the very depths of existence.
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