Tuesday, 29 January 2013

REJECTION BRINGS THE POSSIBILITY OF ACCEPTANCE

If fear is felt, then love is the problem -- become more loving. TAKE FEW STEPS TOWARDS THE OTHER -- BECAUSE EVERYBODY IS IN FEAR, not only you.

You want somebody should come to you and love you. YOU CAN WAIT FOREVER BECAUSE THE OTHER IS ALSO AFRAID. And people who are afraid they become afraid of one thing absolutely, and that is the fear of being rejected. IF I GO AND KNOCK AT YOUR DOOR, THE POSSIBILITY IS YOU MAY REJECT. That rejection will become a wound, so it is better not to go. It is better to remain alone. It is better to move on your own, not to get involved with the other -- because the other can reject.

The moment you approach and take initiative towards love, the first fear comes whether the other will accept you or reject. The possibility is there he may reject, or she may reject. THAT'S WHY WOMEN NEVER TAKE A STEP, THEY ARE MORE FEARFUL. They always wait for the man -- he should come. They always keep the possibility of rejecting or accepting with themselves. They never give the possibility to the other -- because they are more afraid than men.

THEN MANY WOMEN SIMPLY WAIT FOR THEIR WHOLE LIFE. Nobody comes to knock at their door -- because a person who is afraid becomes, in a certain way, so closed that he puts people off. Just reaching nearer, and the afraid person throws such vibrations all around that anybody who is coming closer is put off. The fearful person starts moving; even in the movements...

You talk to a woman -- if you are in a certain way feeling love and affection for her, you would like to be closer and closer. YOU WOULD LIKE TO STAND CLOSER AND TALK. But see the body, because BODY HAS ITS OWN LANGUAGE: the woman will be leaning backwards, not knowingly, or she may simply back off. You are closing, you are coming closer and she is backing off. Or if there is no possibility, there is a wall, she will lean against the wall. Not leaning forward, she is showing, "Go away." She is saying, "Don't come near me."

People sitting, people walking -- you watch: THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO SIMPLY PUT OFF ANYBODY; anybody who comes closer, they become afraid. And fear is energy just like love, a negative energy. A man who is feeling love bubbles up with a positive energy. When you come closer, as if a magnet is attracting you -- you would like to be with this person.

If fear is your problem, then think about your personality, watch it. You must have closed your doors for love, that's all. OPEN THOSE DOORS!

OF COURSE THERE IS THE POSSIBILITY OF BEING REJECTED. But why be afraid? The other can only say no. FIFTY PERCENT POSSIBILITY OF NO IS THERE, but just because of fifty percent possibility of no, you choose a hundred percent life of no love.

The possibility is there, but why worry? There are so many people. IF ONE SAYS NO, DON'T TAKE IT AS A HURT, don't take it as a wound. Simply take it -- it didn't happen. Simply take it -- the other person didn't feel like moving with you. YOU DIDN'T SUIT TO EACH OTHER. You are different types. HE HAS OR SHE HAS NOT SAID NO TO YOU REALLY; IT IS NOT PERSONAL. You didn't fit; move ahead!

AND IT IS GOOD BECAUSE THE PERSON HAS SAID NO, because if you don't fit with a person and the person says yes, then you will be in real trouble. You don't know: the other has saved you a whole life of trouble! Thank him or her and move ahead -- because ALL CANNOT SUIT TO ALL.

Every individual is so unique that, in fact, IT IS SO DIFFICULT TO FIND THE RIGHT PERSON TO FIT WITH YOU. In a better world, sometime in the future, people will have more movability, so people can go and find the right woman and the right man for themselves.

Don't be afraid of making errors, because if you are afraid of making errors you will not move at all, and you will miss the whole life. IT IS BETTER TO ERR THAN NOT TO DO. It is better to be rejected than simply remaining with yourself, afraid, and not taking any initiative -- BECAUSE THE REJECTION BRINGS THE POSSIBILITY OF ACCEPTANCE; it is the other side of acceptance.

IF SOMEBODY REJECTS, SOMEBODY WILL ACCEPT -- ONE HAS TO GO ON MOVING AND FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON. When right persons meet, something clicks. They are made for each other. They fit together.

Not that there will not be conflicts, not that there will not be moments of anger and fight, no. IF LOVE IS ALIVE, THERE WILL BE CONFLICT ALSO. Sometimes there will be moments of anger also. That simply shows that love is an alive phenomenon. Sometimes sadness... because wherever happiness exists, sadness is bound to be there.

ONLY IN A MARRIAGE THERE IS NO SADNESS, BECAUSE THERE IS NO HAPPINESS. One simply tolerates. It is an arrangement, it is a managed phenomenon.

When you really move into life, then anger is also there. But when you love a person, you accept the anger. When you love a person, you accept his or her sadness also. Sometimes you go away just to come closer again. In fact, there is a deep mechanism: LOVERS FIGHT TO FALL IN LOVE AGAIN AND AGAIN, so they can have small honeymoons again and again and again.

DON'T BE AFRAID OF LOVE. There is only one thing one should be afraid of, and that is fear. Be afraid of fear and never be afraid of anything else, because FEAR CRIPPLES. It is poisonous, it is suicidal. Move! Jump out of it! Do whatsoever you would like, but don't get settled with the fear because that is a negative situation....

So please don't get obsessed with fear. JUST JUMP OUT OF IT AND TAKE A MOVE TOWARDS LOVE. And don't wait because nobody is interested in you; if you are waiting, you can go on waiting.

This is my observation: YOU CANNOT BYPASS LOVE, OTHERWISE, YOU WILL BE COMMITTING SUICIDE. But the love can bypass you if you are simply waiting. Move!

LOVE SHOULD BE A PASSION: IT SHOULD BE PASSIONATE, ALIVE, VITAL. Only then you attract somebody to fall towards you. Dead, who bothers with you? Dead, people would like to get rid of you. Dead, you become a boring phenomenon, a boredom. All around you, you carry such dirt of boredom, that anybody who comes across you will feel that it is a misfortune.

BE LOVING, VITAL, UNAFRAID... AND MOVE! Life has much to give to you if you are unafraid. And love has to give you more than life can give -- because love is the very center of this life, and from that very center you can pass to the other shore.

OSHO

Yoga, The Alpha & The Omega



3 comments:

  1. I love you Osho . Thank you so much. This is a great insight.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This text is the reason I am with my current (and first) girlfriend of 3 years. And what allowed me to open up my walls and let love in. But as Osho said, it just took a little courage on my part. It was scary, but the risk was worth it, a million times over.

    And vulnerability is still tough for me. 3 years later and I have met a new woman, not that I am interested in being lovers, at least not at this point, but there is a feeling of love, attraction, and warmth between us. I'm not saying that, at this point, I would like to get involved. But I also don't want to run from her. I want to allow that love to flow, without asking anything of her.

    Today, after having an amazing night together last week, when I saw her in our usual place, a class that we share, I felt distant from her... I have just realized that it is my fear keeping me from her! And as Osho says, I can't expect her to make the move. That much has always been my experience, including with her, and also with my girlfriend. I have to make that move! I worry about looking silly, or doing something "wrong". But as Osho says, "it is better to err than to do nothing". Ah!

    The warmth I allow myself to feel with this new woman is the same warmth I allow myself to feel with my girlfriend. Different forms, perhaps. Maybe one becomes a loving, warm friendship, without ever becoming physical. And the other is the same, but also physical. Who can say? I don't worry so much about the form. I am in a monogamous relationship with my girlfriend, but I neither consider myself monogamist nor polygamist. I simply am what I am. For now, we have made a commitment. Tomorrow, who knows? I simply allow love to flow, and the rest takes care of itself.

    My major points being: my experience has shown me that Osho is spot-on here. And also that, this is not a one-and-done. We must constantly be aware of the barriers we place towards love, and as Osho says - jump out of them.

    I am a work in progress, but, I have jumped before, and I will jump again.

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for sharing your experience! That was a good reminder for myself...to jump out of the barriers I have recently placed towards love.

      Delete